after the trip it got me thinking plenty. so much so that my head hurts and i just wanna runaway from reality once again. sometimes im just so severely disgusted w myself how can the world ; the ppl be so selfish and always think abt their own benefits what they want and what`s good for them before anything and thru this process hurt those that care and love them. yes. there is nth fair in this world. ever. i`ve learn that the hard way. regardless of how much you fight for equality for fairness ; such thing doesnt exist at all that`s how life is. or how i perceive it to be.
i tried to be happy. i really tried to. and yes i did feel happy for awhile before the whole issue appear once again. guess like what aggy says.. what we want are different. its impossible for miracle to happen. you have been there for me. always. happy sad angry days. giving it to me unconditionally (or so i think) and now all you want is just something definite and i cant give it to you. im sorry. i really am. thou the big rock has been removed from my heart / shoulders. the shadows are still there. regardless how i try to put up w the sun or the dark. the shadow still appears.
i think i suck big time. i only know what i dont want. but i dont know what i want. wake up pris! the sun shined at 12:04 AM
